Leasing News

The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.

Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).

Larry Faber

Mountain View, California
His prize: join Kit Menkin at

the S.F. 49er-Oakland Raider game

November 3--Tailgate with wine included
"National Gallery Painting"

A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring

at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted

three very black and totally naked men sitting on a park bench. Two of the

figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The

curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting

the painting and offered his assessment.

He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual

emasculation of African-Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal

society. "In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that

the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression

experienced by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, a Scottish man approached the couple and said,

"Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"
"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.

"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there are no

African-Americans depicted at all. They're just three Scottish

coal-miners. The only difference is that the guy in the middle went home for

lunch."

"This is quite a hard fought battle for all of Kits' jokesters," he says. "We're constantly scouring our e-mail for anything that might tickle his funny bone. I'm very happy to be a two time winner. I want to thank my Mom and Dad and all those judges with a superior sense of humor."

Larry Faber is president of Input Optics, Inc., a Silicon Valley company

that has serviced the Dental market form many years, but has also expanded

its operations to help small and medium sized business with design and

administration of their systems and networks. "We have found that many

companies relying on their networks, don't have the internal resources or

expertise to keep them running smoothly. By outsourcing their IT department,

we can give them the help they need when they need it without being a burden

to their budgets. From new equipment and functionality to repairs and data

recovery, if it's hooked up to a computer, we can deal with it."

Larry is a graduate of UC Berkeley and has lived and worked in the Bay Area

since moving here from Detroit in 1963. He's a die hard Cal fan and has

season tickets to basketball and football. He is an avid golfer, still plays

softball and has coached in Little League for 10 years as well as coaching at

the high school level in softball. His wife, Michele, is an interior

designer at Ethan Allen and his daughter and son are high school students

who actually attend the same high school from which Larry graduated.

Larry has won twice before. Click on the following for past jokes:

February, 2001

August, 2000

Here are some pictures from the 1999 Raider Game against the Green Bay Packers:

Larry Faber and Wally Lunny, after the 1999 Raider-Packer game

Kit with the Raiderettes, who parade in the tail gate area before each game

Raiderettes ( always escorted by at least six Oakland uniform policemen)

Past Jokes of the Month

Year 2002

August 2002
Rosalie
Santa Cruz, California
"Vasona Park Visit "

July 2002
Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California
"New Hearing Aid"

June 2002
Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California
"Nevada Cowboy"

May 2002
Gene Blakeslee
Monte Sereno, California
"The Retirement Package"

April
Kevin Bennett
San Jose, California
"The Highway Patrolman and the Blonde"
His Prize: Bottle of 1996 Rombauer Napa Valley Merlot

March
Peter S. Carter
Los Gatos, California
"Golfer Answers Cell Phone Call"
His prize: a bottle of 1994 Beringer Howell Mountain Merlot,
with the request Kit and Sue join he and his wife for dinner to enjoy the win together.

February
Stewart Kahn
Redondo Beach, California
"Mother Superior"
Prize is a dinner for two at California Cafe
( this is his third time )

January
Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California
" Warshawsky's Bar"
His prize: $100 Certificate for Dinner at California Cafe
Dan has won six times!!!

Past Jokes of the Month

Year 2001

December
Randy Schiell
Denver, Colorado " Noah's Ark"
His prize: 1997 Stag's Leap Wine Cellars Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon

November
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
1998 Dalla Valle Pietre Rosse, Dalla Valle Vineyards, Oakville, Napa and 1996 Chateau Woltner Chardonnay, St. Thomas Vineyards, Howell Mountain, Napa
"Viagra"

October
Farley Gouner
San Jose, California
He did not want wine or chocolate, but to have lunch with Kit Menkin. (please no cracks that is the second place prize.)
"Non-Violent Solution"

September
Samuel R. Swift, A.P.L.C.
San Jose, California
A case of Gordon Birsch Marzen beer
"Stock Tip"

August
Steve Gabriel,
San Jose, California
A case of .375 ml 1995 Duckhorn Merlot Howell Mountain
* Finally! -- a Blonde GUY Joke!

July
Charlene Lunny
San Francisco, California
Dinner at Scoma's Restaurant, San Francisco
"BMW"

June
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
zChocolate
"Fishing in East Texas"

May
Jeff Reynolds, Oakland, California.
This is his second time. He won in January. He receives six bottles of 1997 Chateau Woltner Howell Mountain Chardonnay.
“Stopped by the Police”

April
Hal Sharpe, Paradise, California
He receives the best chocolate assortment from Dan's Chocolates.
"Scotch and Water"

March
Leigh Weimers, Los Gatos, California
French zChocolate Peche", 1996 Galante Vineyards Cabernet Sasuvignon Red Rose Hill Carmel Valley, 1998 Eos Chardonnay Paso Robles
"Grandpa"

February
Larry Faber
Mountain View, California
" Nevada Winter "
Second time he has won, dinner for two with Kit and Sue, plus a bottle of his favorite wine, 1996 Duckhorn Vineyard Merlot

January
Jeff Reynolds
Oakland, California
Thirteen!!!
A bottle of 1996 Joseph Phelps Merlot Napa Valley

Year 2000

December
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
"Bald Eagle"
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Vineyards Merlot Los Carneros of Napa Valley

November
Leigh Weimers,
Los Gatos, California
Pest Control Inspector Gets Caught
Two pound box of Schurra's Fancy Chocolate.
(also a Christmas present to Leigh and Geri)

October
Jeff Wong,
of San Francisco, California
Take my wife, please
One pound Box of Godiva Chocolate.

September
Captain James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
POLISH AIR DISASTER
One pound Millenium Box of See's Chocolate.

August
Larry Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish Sex Therapy
Bottle of 1995 Duckhorn Napa Estate Merlot.

July
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
Father O'Reilley
Two pound box of Fancy Godiva Chocolate and Truffles.

June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish Poker Game
Rutherford Hill 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon, Methuslah.
(he is a four time winner, this winery not only overlooks Auberge du Soleil in Napa Valley, but producess some outstanding red and white wine)

May
Chuck Brady, Saratoga, California
Man goes to see the Rabbi
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa Private Reserve.

April
Stewart Kahn of Redondo Beach, California.
80,000 Blondes
A 1 ½ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner

March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A 1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward

February
Dash Menkin of Elko, Nevada
The Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate as his award.

January
Jim Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine Day box to give to his sweetheart

Past Jokes of the Month
Year 1999

December
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey Merlot
Third Time Winner

November
Stewart Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

October
Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese

September
Dougald Turnbull of Campbell, California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville

August
Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot
Second Time Winner

July
Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley

June
Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate

May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, Oaksville

April
Jerry Jacob, San Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

February
R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal

January
Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation

Past Jokes of the Month
Year 1998

December
Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park

November
Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay

October
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles

September
Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc

August
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

July
Jim Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte Bello

June
Nanette Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

May
Walter J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone Classico Chianti

April
Jim Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate