Dash Menkin of Elko, Nevada

Yes, he is my number one son, a native Californian, born in San Francisco.

He does not want to take credit for submitting it, as he originally received it from Miss Suzanne Duncan, a friend of his from Alberta, Canada. She is an Elementary school teacher as well as a writer for the local paper "The Lethbridge Times" in Medicine Hat.

Most of the jokes do not originate with the sender. Some people attribute where they received the joke, but that is not a common practice. In our contest, we give credit to the person who sends the joke to us. Whether it came from a book, a web site, or from a friend is the choice of the sender. I can tell you that most jokes circulate for years, perhaps some even for generations.

We will honor my son's request with the award of the See's Millennium Tin chocolate to Suzanne Duncan. However, since he sent in the joke, he becomes our official Winner for the Month of February.

Joke of the Month

The Blonde and the Attorney

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde, who's tired and just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window. But the lawyer persists and says the game is easy and fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Your turn," says the lawyer. She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers -- to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

And you thought blondes were dumb.

1999

January
Jim Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine Day box to give to his sweetheart

December
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey Merlot
Third Time Winner

November
Stewart Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

October
Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese

September
Dougald Turnbull of Campbell, California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville

August
Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot
Second Time Winner

July
Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley

June
Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate

May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, Oaksville

April
Jerry Jacob, San Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

February
R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal

January
Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation

 

1998

December
Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park

November
Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay

October
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles

September
Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc

August
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

July
Jim Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte Bello

June
Nanette Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

May
Walter J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone Classico Chianti

April
Jim Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate