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The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win  (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.

Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).

Winner for July 2002

Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California

(his seventh time, and this one back-to-back with his June joke)

         New Hearing Aid


A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new  hearing aid.

It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."


"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"


"Twelve thirty."

Biography for Joke of the Month Winner Dan Sorkin


Other previous months that Dan has won:

Dan Sorkin has been a radio disk jockey for over fifty years. He is 75 years old, still going strong, riding his motorcycle, flying his airplane, and expanding his web site, almost like a  franchise, all over the world: http:// " I am fully occupied with the global
reach of Stumps 'R Us ( ).

He sends many great jokes, plus collects them, for use on the air, his web site, the "Gimpy" newsletter, and for his friends' general amusement.

He had a morning show of mine on WCFL in Chicago that ran for 12 years from 6-9 AM. "My WCFL morning radio show. WCFL stood for the Chicago Federation of Labor. It was the only labor owned radio station in the country. With 50,000 watts at 1000 on the dial we had national coverage. The union has since sold the station and the call letters were changed to something else."

He has been making me laugh since 1964 when I was the news editor at KFRC radio in San Francisco and he was the number one morning disk jockey (he actually beat out Don Sherwood, who "owned" the local airwaves). Radio is musical chairs and Dan has played the game very well.

He was injured in a motorcycle accident, which changed his life. He writes about the incident in an early edition "Gimpy," the official Publication of "Stumps 'R Us."

"It was a sweet summer evening in 1968 in Tomales Bay, California when I powered up my Harley-Davidson motorcycle for the 45 minute ride back to Oakland. I was at the peak of my career in radio broadcasting. After 12 successful years in Chicago, I was invited to join the highest rated radio station in the country as the afternoon Dive-Time Host on KSFO in San Francisco.

 "I couldn't believe my good fortune. I had an airplane, a new car, a great apartment in the most beautiful city in the world and a contract that would make me a millionaire.

"Then it happened...I took a curve on the Novato highway too fast and left the country road at better than a hundred miles an hour. I totaled myself and the motorcycle! I broke my back and almost every bone in my body. My left leg was a mess and had to go...and it went.

"I spent a year in the hospital thinking". 

"The doctors asked me to visit other potential amputees in the hospital because I decided to adopt a cheerful, positive attitude on what had happened to me. Perhaps I could pass it on to them, give them some tips, answers to problems or questions that I had asked and had gotten answers to.

"Although in 1968 the name did not exist yet, "Stumps 'R Us" was born. Through 1989, I had been counseling amputees on a one-to one basis. Doctors, nurses, social workers and others who knew what had happened began calling me, asking if I had the time to make face-to-face calls... then, ad-libbing on the radio in 1989, I recounted an old story of a very funny encounter with an amputee and asked the listening audience to come up with a name for an Amputee Support Group that had a sense of humor, met socially on a monthly basis, and was for people willing to share what they had learned about life and how to cope."

Since this story, Dan's organization "Stumps _R Us" has grown nationwide, his web site is visited often. He still has time for face-to- face meetings, hosting non-profit fund raisers, including the Salvation Army, and now spends full-time promoting "Stumps 'R Us". You can reach him on the web at:

He lives in Rossmoor, Walnut Creek, California with his Jody. They are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary this year.

He adds about "Contributions are always welcomed. Our Federal Tax ID is: 94-3176914"

Past Jokes of the Month

Year 2002

June 2002
Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California

"Nevada Cowboy"

May 2002

Gene Blakeslee
Monte Sereno, California
"The Retirement Package"

Kevin Bennett
San Jose, California
"The Highway Patrolman and the Blonde"
His Prize: Bottle of 1996 Rombauer Napa Valley Merlot

Peter S. Carter
Los Gatos, California
"Golfer Answers Cell Phone Call"
His prize: a bottle of 1994 Beringer Howell Mountain Merlot,
with the request Kit and Sue join he and his wife for dinner to enjoy the win together.

Stewart Kahn
Redondo Beach, California
"Mother Superior"
Prize is a dinner for two at California Cafe
( this is his third time )


Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California
" Warshawsky's Bar"
His prize: $100 Certificate for Dinner at California Cafe
Dan has won six times!!!

Past Jokes of the Month

Year 2001

Randy Schiell
Denver, Colorado " Noah's Ark"
His prize: 1997 Stag's Leap Wine Cellars Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon

Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
1998 Dalla Valle Pietre Rosse, Dalla Valle Vineyards, Oakville, Napa and 1996 Chateau Woltner Chardonnay, St. Thomas Vineyards, Howell Mountain, Napa

Farley Gouner
San Jose, California
He did not want wine or chocolate, but to have lunch with Kit Menkin. (please no cracks that is the second place prize.)

"Non-Violent Solution"

Samuel R. Swift, A.P.L.C.
San Jose, California
A case of Gordon Birsch Marzen beer
"Stock Tip"

Steve Gabriel,
San Jose, California
A case of .375 ml 1995 Duckhorn Merlot Howell Mountain
* Finally! -- a Blonde GUY Joke!

Charlene Lunny
San Francisco, California
Dinner at Scoma's Restaurant, San Francisco

Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
"Fishing in East Texas"

Jeff Reynolds, Oakland, California.
This is his second time.  He won in January. He receives six bottles of 1997 Chateau Woltner Howell Mountain Chardonnay.
  “Stopped by the Police”

Hal Sharpe, Paradise, California
He receives the best chocolate assortment from Dan's Chocolates.
"Scotch and Water"

Leigh Weimers, Los Gatos, California

French zChocolate Peche", 1996 Galante Vineyards Cabernet Sasuvignon Red Rose Hill Carmel Valley, 1998 Eos Chardonnay Paso Robles

Larry Faber
Mountain View, California
" Nevada Winter "
Second time he has won, dinner for two with Kit and Sue, plus a bottle of his favorite wine, 1996 Duckhorn Vineyard Merlot

Jeff Reynolds
Oakland, California

A bottle of 1996 Joseph Phelps Merlot Napa Valley

Past Jokes of the Month

Year 2000

Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
"Bald Eagle"
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Vineyards Merlot Los Carneros of Napa Valley

Leigh Weimers,
Los Gatos, California
Pest Control Inspector Gets Caught
Two pound box of Schurra's Fancy Chocolate.
(also a Christmas present to Leigh and Geri)

Jeff Wong,
of San Francisco, California
Take my wife, please
One pound Box of Godiva Chocolate.

Captain James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
One pound Millenium Box of See's Chocolate.

Larry Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish Sex Therapy
Bottle of 1995 Duckhorn Napa Estate Merlot.

John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
Father O'Reilley
Two pound box of Fancy Godiva Chocolate and Truffles.

Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish Poker Game
Rutherford Hill 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon, Methuslah.
(he is a four time winner, this winery not only overlooks Auberge du Soleil in Napa Valley, but producess some outstanding red and white wine)

Chuck Brady, Saratoga, California
 Man goes to see the Rabbi
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa Private Reserve.

Stewart Kahn of Redondo Beach, California.
80,000 Blondes
A 1 ˝ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner

John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A 1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward

Dash Menkin of Elko, Nevada
The Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate as his award.

Jim Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine Day box to give to his sweetheart

Past Jokes of the Month
Year 1999

Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey Merlot

Third Time Winner

Stewart Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese

Dougald Turnbull of Campbell, California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville

Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot

Second Time Winner

Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley


Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir

and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate

John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, Oaksville

Jerry Jacob,
San Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

R. Donald Chapman,
San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal

Jim Beck,
Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation

Past Jokes of the Month
Year 1998

Russ Mattos
, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park

Kim Davison,
San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay

Dan Sorkin,
Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles

Santa Cruz, Cali
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc

Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Jim Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte Bello

Nanette Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Walter J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone Classico Chianti

Jim Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

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