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The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win  (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.

Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolate (the winner’s choice).

Winner for October

Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
is the Winner of the Joke of the Month for October

Randy Warshawsky was born and raised in the Willow Glen area of San Jose, California, and he currently resides there with his wife and 3 teenage children. He is very active in the local community serving on the Board of Directors for Willow Glen Little League for three years and currently resides on the Board for Touched by Cancer. The children's High School activities also keep him busy.

Randy's entrepreneurial spirit led him into two businesses. First as the owner of Big W Liquors in Santa Clara, and now, as The Tax Man in Willow Glen.

Randy and his brother operated Big W Liquors for 6 years. The brothers built a substantial business, with a loyal customer base - customers who remain friends to this day. After Fair Trade was enacted, the brothers decided to pursue other interests. Randy laughs about his bookkeeping for the liquor store. "I did everything by hand in hard-bound ledger books with good old-fashioned pencils".

Tax and bookkeeping seemed a natural avenue to explore after leaving the liquor store. Randy started his tax business in 1986 while working for a local bank. He was also certified by the State of California to teach tax preparation courses. After referring to himself as "Randy, the tax man" in his phone conversations, the name seemed a natural for his business. Randy continued to build his business while working for a local attorney in the tax department. Eventually, his own business grew to the point where he worked full time for himself.

Those pencils and ledgers have been replaced. Randy uses a network of computers and sophisticated software in his business today. The Tax Man provides tax and bookkeeping services for Individuals, Estates, Trusts, Partnerships, and Corporations. He specializes in small to medium sized businesses. In addition to tax preparation and bookkeeping, Randy also does payroll, audits (all agencies), and business development for his clients.

Randy's hobbies include dancing, four-wheeling, poker and a variety of family activities. He and his family are in the final stages of remodeling their Willow Glen home - a true family activity!


Joke of the Month

Lady Golfer

Four veteran lady golfers played every Saturday at La Rinconada in Los Gatos, teeing off precisely at 7:00am. Unfortunately, one of them moved away. They were talking about who would replace her at their Saturday games.

A young woman standing near the tee said, "Hey, I like to golf, can I join the group? I am new, but I am really learning how to play this game"

They were hesitant, but said she could come once to try it and they could see what they thought.

They all agreed and she said, "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45."

She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under par round.

The veteran lady golfers were very impressed, invited her to join their group, and bragged about how they how taught this young novice how to play so well. She was also a lot of fun and the veteran lady golfers enjoyed her company. Happily they invited her back the next week and she said "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."

Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed, and matched her 7-under par score of the previous week.

By now the veteran lady golfers were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps.

They had a Chardonnay from Testarossa after their round, and the oldest of the group asked her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

She said, "That's easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude. If his member is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it's pointed to the left, I golf left-handed."

One of the veteran lady golfers asked, "What if it's pointed straight up?"

She said, "Then I'll be here at 6:45."


Past Jokes of the Month


Dougald Turnbull of Campbell, California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville

Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot

Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley


Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate

John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, Oaksville

Jerry Jacobs,
San Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolat

R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal

Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation



Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park

Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay

Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles

Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc

Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Jim Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte Bello

Nanette Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Walter J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone Classico Chianti

Jim Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

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