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"JOKE OF THE MONTH"
The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.
Please
send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit,
but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).
Winner for May 2002
Gene
Blakeslee
Monte Sereno, California
His Prize: A bottle 1998 Pahlmeyer Merlot, Napa Valley
The Retirement Package
The pentagon
recently found it had too many Generals and offered an early retirement
bonus.
They promised
any General who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000
for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on
the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of
points he wished.
The first
man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure
from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked
out with a check of $720,000.
The second
man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched
hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for
$960,000.
When the
third general, a grizzled old Marine General, was asked where to measure,
he told the pension man, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like
to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals
had received. The Marine general insisted and the pension expert said
that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to
do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general
to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer
placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and
began to work back.
"My God!" he said, "Where are your testicles?"
"In Vietnam" the general replied.
Biography
of Gene Blakeslee
Gene Blakeslee is a wine connoisseur, bon vivant, and also Senior Vice President of Finance/Special Projects of Greater Bay Bancorp (“GBBK”). Greater Bay Bank acquired San Jose National Bank late last year, where he was Executive Vice President, Chief Financial Officer and Treasurer of the holding company and its subsidiary San Jose National Bank.
Gene and his wife Jan (a practicing CPA) are long-time residents of Monte Sereno. They have a daughter, Jennifer who is an account executive for an advertising firm in New York City. Gene says he enjoys golf, gardening, bridge, aerobic exercise, reading and wine collecting.
He has been involved with the Santa Clara County Council of the Boy Scouts of America for a number of years where he has served as its Chairman and served as the Vice President/Finance and has been long been on their board. He was recently on the Board of the Hospice of the Valley where he also served as the Finance Officer.
Gene is an active member of San Jose Rotary and recently completed a term on their board and remains active in several committees including Chairing the Enterprise Leadership Conference, a three-day conference for 88 High School Juniors, where they are introduced to the business world.
Previously, Mr. Blakeslee was involved with the YMCA, Big Brothers and Haight Youth Foundation and was the first chairman of the KTEH “On Air Auction” for public television. He is currently a member of La Rinconada and La Quinta Golf and Country Clubs, Courtside Tennis & Racquet Club and the St. Claire Club. He serves on the Board of Directors and the Finance Committee for La Rinconada Country Club and is a past member of the board of the St. Claire Club.
Before he joined San Jose National Bank as a member of its executive management team in 1991, he was Executive Vice President, Chief Financial Officer and Treasurer of Pacific Western Bancshares where responsibilities included the analysis and negotiation of potential mergers and acquisitions. Prior to joining, Pacific Western Bank, he was with Deloitte & Touche in San Jose and San Francisco
Professionally, Gene served as President of the Financial Executive Institute and National Association of Accountants> He is a Certified Public Accountant, current member of the California Society of CPA’s and AICPA. He was born and raised near Portland, Oregon.
He is also a “duck,” having graduated from the University of Oregon in 1967.
Past Jokes of the Month
Year 2002
April
Kevin Bennett
San Jose, California
"The Highway Patrolman and the Blonde"
His Prize: Bottle of 1996 Rombauer Napa Valley Merlot
March
Peter S. Carter
Los Gatos, California
"Golfer Answers Cell Phone Call"
His prize: a bottle of 1994 Beringer Howell Mountain Merlot,
with the request Kit and Sue join he and his wife for dinner to enjoy
the win together.
February
Stewart Kahn
Redondo Beach, California
"Mother Superior"
Prize is a dinner for two at California Cafe
( this is his third time )
January
Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California
" Warshawsky's Bar"
His prize: $100 Certificate for Dinner at California Cafe
Dan has won six times!!!
Past Jokes of the Month
Year
2001
December
Randy Schiell
Denver, Colorado " Noah's Ark"
His prize: 1997 Stag's Leap Wine Cellars Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon
November
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
1998 Dalla Valle Pietre Rosse, Dalla Valle Vineyards, Oakville,
Napa and 1996 Chateau Woltner Chardonnay, St. Thomas Vineyards, Howell
Mountain, Napa
"Viagra"
October
Farley Gouner
San Jose, California
He did not want wine or chocolate, but to have lunch with Kit Menkin.
(please no cracks that is the second place prize.)
"Non-Violent Solution"
September
Samuel R. Swift, A.P.L.C.
San Jose, California
A case of Gordon Birsch Marzen beer
"Stock Tip"
August
Steve Gabriel,
San Jose, California
A case of .375 ml 1995 Duckhorn Merlot Howell Mountain
* Finally! -- a Blonde GUY Joke!
July
Charlene Lunny
San Francisco, California
Dinner at Scoma's Restaurant, San Francisco
"BMW"
June
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
zChocolate
"Fishing in East Texas"
May
Jeff Reynolds, Oakland, California.
This is his second time. He won in January. He receives six bottles
of 1997 Chateau Woltner Howell Mountain Chardonnay.
“Stopped by the Police”
April
Hal Sharpe, Paradise, California
He receives the best chocolate assortment from Dan's Chocolates.
"Scotch and Water"
March
Leigh Weimers, Los Gatos, California
French zChocolate Peche", 1996 Galante Vineyards Cabernet
Sasuvignon Red Rose Hill Carmel Valley, 1998 Eos Chardonnay Paso Robles
"Grandpa"
February
Larry Faber
Mountain View, California
" Nevada Winter "
Second time he has won, dinner for two with Kit and Sue, plus a
bottle of his favorite wine, 1996 Duckhorn Vineyard Merlot
January
Jeff Reynolds
Oakland, California
Thirteen!!!
A bottle of 1996 Joseph Phelps Merlot Napa Valley
Past Jokes of the Month
Year 2000
December
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
"Bald Eagle"
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Vineyards Merlot Los Carneros
of Napa Valley
November
Leigh Weimers,
Los Gatos, California
Pest Control Inspector Gets Caught
Two pound box of Schurra's Fancy Chocolate.
(also a Christmas present to Leigh and Geri)
October
Jeff Wong,
of San Francisco, California
Take my wife, please
One pound Box of Godiva Chocolate.
September
Captain James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
POLISH AIR DISASTER
One pound Millenium Box of See's Chocolate.
August
Larry Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish Sex Therapy
Bottle of 1995 Duckhorn Napa Estate Merlot.
July
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
Father O'Reilley
Two pound box of Fancy Godiva Chocolate and Truffles.
June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish Poker Game
Rutherford Hill 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon, Methuslah.
(he is a four time winner, this winery not only overlooks Auberge du
Soleil in Napa Valley, but producess some outstanding red and white
wine)
May
Chuck Brady, Saratoga, California
Man goes to see the Rabbi
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa
Private Reserve.
April
Stewart Kahn of Redondo Beach, California.
80,000 Blondes
A 1 ½ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva
Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner
March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A 1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward
February
Dash Menkin of Elko, Nevada
The Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate as his award.
January
Jim Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine Day box to give to his sweetheart
Past
Jokes of the Month
Year 1999
December
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey
Merlot
Third Time Winner
November
Stewart
Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
October
Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese
September
Dougald Turnbull of Campbell,
California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville
August
Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen
Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot
Second Time Winner
July
Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
June
Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon
Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate
May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley,
Oaksville
April
Jerry Jacob, San
Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
February
R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal
January
Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz
Mountain Appellation
Past
Jokes of the Month
Year 1998
December
Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco
49ergame at 3Com Park
November
Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay
October
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles
September
Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de
Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc
August
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
July
Jim
Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte
Bello
June
Nanette
Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
May
Walter
J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone
Classico Chianti
April
Jim
Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
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