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"JOKE OF THE MONTH"
The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.
Please
send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit,
but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).
Winner
for April
Hal Sharpe He receives the best chocolate assortment from Dan's Chocolates.
Hal
Sharpe
Paradise, California
Scotch and Water
A woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and asks the bartender for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says "I would like to buy you a drink too." The old woman says "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water." "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue!"
Hal Shapre--80 Years Young
Born in Boulder, CO 1920. Moved to Florida in '21, Los Angeles in '24 (They were still delivering milk in horse drawn carts !!!). Veteran of WWII, U.S. Navy 3-1/2 years. Retail sales '45 to'50, Industrial sales '51 to '70. Founded Hal Sharpe Associates in San Jose '70 as manufacturer's rep firm. Changed business from rep organization to distributor in '85.
Moved business to Chico, CA '90. In '98 we brought in a young man, Jim Stanton, as a partner to grow and perpetuate the business. That year we also acquired Dryden Engineering Co.,a competitor and we are now known as Sharpe/Dryden Company.
We distribute clean room supplies, equipment and chemicals as well as industrial safety supplies. Our corporate offices are in Chico and warehouse facility is in Fremont, CA. We sell product world wide.
I am active in the business (on the job Monday through Friday) as Chairman and CEO, Jim is President. Marlene(Mrs. Sharpe)is a co-owner and works as Marketing Communications Manager in our business.
Our home is in Paradise, CA. I have three daughters by a previous marriage, five grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren.
Past Jokes of the Month
Year 2001
March
Leigh
Weimers, Los Gatos, California
French zChocolate Peche",
1996 Galante Vineyards Cabernet Sasuvignon Red Rose Hill Carmel Valley, 1998
Eos Chardonnay Paso Robles
"Grandpa"
February
Larry
Faber
Mountain View, California
"
Nevada Winter "
Second
time he has won, dinner for two with Kit and Sue, plus a bottle of his favorite
wine, 1996 Duckhorn Vineyard Merlot
January
Jeff
Reynolds
Oakland, California
Thirteen!!!
A
bottle of 1996 Joseph Phelps Merlot Napa Valley
Past Jokes of the Month
Year 2000
December
Rob
Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
"Bald Eagle"
A bottle
of 1996 Robert Sinskey Vineyards Merlot Los Carneros of Napa Valley
November
Leigh
Weimers,
Los Gatos, California
Pest Control Inspector Gets Caught
Two pound box of Schurra's Fancy Chocolate.
(also a Christmas
present to Leigh and Geri)
October
Jeff
Wong,
of San Francisco, California
Take
my wife, please
One pound Box of Godiva Chocolate.
September
Captain
James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
POLISH AIR
DISASTER
One pound Millenium Box of See's Chocolate.
August
Larry
Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish
Sex Therapy
Bottle of 1995 Duckhorn Napa Estate Merlot.
July
John Wold of
St. Charles, Illinois
Father
O'Reilley
Two pound box of Fancy Godiva Chocolate and Truffles.
June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish
Poker Game
Rutherford Hill 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon, Methuslah.
(he
is a four time winner, this winery not only overlooks Auberge du Soleil in Napa
Valley, but producess some outstanding red and white wine)
May
Chuck Brady,
Saratoga, California
Man goes to see the Rabbi
A
bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa Private Reserve.
April
Stewart Kahn of
Redondo Beach, California.
80,000
Blondes
A 1 ½ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva
Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner
March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A
1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward
February
Dash Menkin of Elko,
Nevada
The
Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate
as his award.
January
Jim
Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A
big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine
Day box to give to his sweetheart
Past
Jokes of the Month
Year 1999
December
Dan
Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A
case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey Merlot
Third
Time Winner
November
Stewart
Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
October
Randy
Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel
Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese
September
Dougald
Turnbull of Campbell, California
1989
Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon
Napa Valley, Oakville
August
Wally
Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau
St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot
Second
Time Winner
July
Kevin
Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve,
Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros,
Napa Valley
June
Chris
Cross of Hayward, California
1997
Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County
Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate
May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley,
Oaksville
April
Jerry
Jacob, San
Rafael, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
February
R. Donald
Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop.
Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal
January
Jim
Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet
Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation
Past
Jokes of the Month
Year 1998
December
Russ
Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass
for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park
November
Kim
Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay
October
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and
second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles
September
Rosalie,
Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de
Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc
August
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
July
Jim
Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte
Bello
June
Nanette
Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
May
Walter
J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone
Classico Chianti
April
Jim
Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
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