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The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win  (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.

Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolate (the winner’s choice).

Winner for September

Dougald Turnbull of Campbell, California
is the Winner of the Joke of the Month for September

His prize: 1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley, and 1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville

"Doog", as it is pronounced, was born in Toronto.

"I am a Canadian and love my homeland but choose very definitely to live here, still one of the greatest areas in the world to live," he says "I love the climate, the range of choices for activities, the climate, the people, the climate. A lot of residents take this area for granted and that's a shame. I really cannot think of living anywhere else other than Northern California."

His father was a banker and worked for the Bank of Nova Scotia for over 50 years. His mother was a stay-at-home mom until he graduated from college. She worked for Birks' Jewelers (the company that owned Schreve & Co.) for 25 years." Hard to believe, "says Turnbull." I had a brother that I lost to polio at a young age, so I was raised as an only child (but never spoiled!)"

A good part of his growing up years were in Montreal where, he almost pursued a career in pro hockey. Later, while working in the steel mills in Hamilton, he decided to pursue a business career. He became a Canadian Chartered Accountant ( like a CPA ). Most of his career he has been in professional services, working for Arthur Andersen and the Canadian law firm of Stikeman Elliott. He had worked in this area with Andersen earlier and returned as Chief Financial Officer for KBM Office Furniture in San Jose. He left to pursue his business-accounting career where he serves as Director of Administration with Mohler, Nixon & Williams, one of the fastest-growing regional accounting firms in the San Francisco Bay Area.

He is a member of the Northern California Human Resources Association and the Society for Human Resource Management.

"I'm fortunate to be married to the only woman I've ever loved, Leatrice," he says. "We just celebrated our 30th anniversary in August. She truly is a 'renaissance woman' who has had to reinvent herself too many times as I've satisfied my wanderlust through Canada and California. She is one of the most creative and energetic individuals I have ever met.

"Another thing almost taken for granted, I believe," he adds, "is the justice system in the USA."

For several years he has been on the Board of Directors for Silicon Valley Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse, an organization dedicated"... to educating the public about the real cost of frivolous lawsuits that bog down the courts. I think we are making great progress, but it is an ongoing struggle sometimes to help people value the freedoms, and along with that, the responsibilities, that exist in the USA."

Doog adds that he loves the San Jose Sharks, but has a difficult time knowing who to cheer for when the Montreal Canadians are in town. He also loves "visiting wineries, walking the beach, especially Aptos- Seascape area, and doing my own gardening. I work out regularly at the Decathlon Club. Most of all, I try to get outdoors as much as possible."

He is also active on the Internet for information and especially enjoys a good joke now and then.


Joke of the Month

Engineer Goes to Heaven

A Silicon Valley engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer, and from Milpitas---you're in the wrong place."

So the Silicon Valley engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and
the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, internet, e-mail, and there's no telling what this Silicon Valley engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer from Silicon Valley? That's a mistake ? he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says,
"No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers,
"Yeah, right! And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"


Past Jokes of the Month


Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot

Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley


Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate

John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, Oaksville

Jerry Jacobs,
San Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolat

R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal

Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation



Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park

Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay

Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles

Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc

Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Jim Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte Bello

Nanette Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

Walter J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone Classico Chianti

Jim Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

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