Dougald Turnbull of Santa Clara, California

The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.

Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).

Winner for March 2004

Harry Saghian
Los Angeles , California
He wins a bottle of 1996 Sterling Napa Valley Merlot

Where's my Wife?

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said,
"I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours,
my wife appears out of nowhere "

Harry's bio:

I grew up in Iran till I was 17 before I moved to New Haven , Connecticut.; did my senior year at West Haven High School before I attended Southern ct. state university and graduated with a bachelor's degree in chemistry.

I bought a little luncheonette with a friend and worked it for a couple of years, did some college marketing, sold life & health insurance. I was not making much money in the insurance business. My ex- brother in law was working for a direct lender doing hard money second mortgages. I got hired as a salesman for a $300.00 per week draw against commission.

About a year later, real estate took a dump and they closed the mortgage department. The parent company was also an equipment leasing company for "b" and "c" credit. I was hired on the leasing side doing collection and repossessions.

I became a salesman shortly after and specialized in financing of transportation industry. By now I had met my new wife in California and I moved to Los Angeles and opened a satellite office. The company was purchased by Unicapital and as you know went bankrupt.

On April of 2000 I started my company Calfund, llc here in Los Angeles , which is a direct lender that specializes in transportation industry for sub-standard credit. I do everything. sell, underwrite, document, invoicing, collections, repo, sale of the repo. My goal is to grow my business to a $50m portfolio. I love my job.

I'm still married to my second wife (haven't had the need for an upgrade, yet) and have 3 most adorable children, Oren's 5, Leor's 4, and Elan's 2. Most of my family is here in Los Angeles (as they call it here "Irangeles"). I enjoy all family stuff, working out, movies, restaurants, and friends.