Dougald Turnbull of Santa Clara, California

The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.

Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).

Winner for February 2004

Pat McCarthy
Santa Clara , California

His prize: La Rusticana d'Orsa 2000, a blend of Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot, grown at Frank and Marilyn's La Rusticana in Los Gatos, near the top of the Santa Cruz Mountains. Frank actually prunes the grapes. He was sells most of the grapes to David Bruce, but has a small, limited bottling.

Irish Husband's Last Request

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning
service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my
dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband
passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did
he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...'

Patrick McCarthy Bio

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? To a different bar.

I'm not sure if I get sent more Irish jokes than anybody else, but my grandparents did come here from Ireland about 100 years ago. They raised my father in Cupertino (pronounced Q-per-teeno) and owned largest merchandise store between SF and San Luis throughout the depression, the Cupertino General Store. My father owned a grading and paving company in Santa Clara for about 30 years. Neither my pop nor I have been to Ireland and I really no little about the place. Heard it's nice.

My parents raised 10 kids in Saratoga (Catholics, not Mormons - everybody used to ask). We all went to Sacred Heart Grade School and I went to Mitty High School. Being in the middle of 7 sons, I was very competitive in basketball, baseball and football when growing up. We seemingly always had some sort of a game going at our house. Lotta' fun.

I went to Chico State during the glory years of the late '70's and early '80's. Received a BS in Business Finance and attended many Pioneer Days' functions. Think I'll take the wine over the chocolate, thank you Kit!

My "working" career took me from sales at MCI Telecommunications to CB Richard Ellis doing commercial real estate sales and leasing to founding Liberty Lighting & Fixture Supply over 12 years ago. Our business is located on De La Cruz Boulevard in Santa Clara. We cater primarily to the commercial/industrial businesses in Silicon Valley. On a side note, many years ago Kit and American Leasing helped us quite a bit when we were in great need of getting a computer system. Next career move up still to be determined.

Married 14 years to my college sweetheart, Dr. Zoe Cordova - McCarthy. She has been operating her own Chiropractic practice in Sunnyvale for about 16 years. We live in Saratoga with our 4 young children - boys almost 7 & 5 and twin girls 2 ½. Zoe is one of 12 children, but we think we finally got it figured out (if that's what you were thinking!). We've got a pool and a tennis court, but seem to spend more time looking for good nanny help. I'm greatly looking forward to continuing coaching the kids sports teams where I can and perhaps going to Ireland someday to learn some "American" jokes!